Without a word Chris closed the album, placing it back on the floor again. Keeping his head bowed, he didn't meet Buck's eyes. A few seconds passed as Buck knew not to push. Staying where he was, he simply kept holding the smaller man, noting the faint tremble.
Chris' voice was low when he started talking, sounding angry and pained.
"Do you have any idea how much time it took before I got over their deaths, Buck? Hell, I never really got over it, but at least I could live with it..."
"I do." Buck's answer was short. "I was there, remember? But..." He didn't get to finish.
"Adam's dead. Been dead for fifteen years."
Curling his fingers around the blond's chin, Buck carefully lifted Chris' face so they were looking at each other. "No. No, he isn't, Chris. I can't explain how I know, but somehow he's come back to us, even if he doesn't even know it himself."
"He's not Adam." The words were whispered. "He can't be."
Buck was staring into golden eyes, clear evidence of the emotional turmoil. In the end he said the only thing he could.
"He is."
"No!" Chris pushed the other way, getting to his feet and leaving a safe distance between Buck and him. "He can't! I won't let him be." At the sight of Buck's frown, he attempted to explain, feeling the last grasp of his composure turn to sand in his hand, slipping away by the grain. "I can't go through it again, Buck. I can't let myself believe that I have found Adam, just to find out that he's still gone...I.... I couldn't bear that again..."
Buck got to his feet as well, advancing on his lover that drew back. In the end Buck embraced him, soothing the distraught man with words and touch. "I know, babe, I know... But I would never bring this up like this if I wasn't absolutely sure...I knew from the moment I saw him with Vin...he's Adam, Chris." He hugged the smaller man closer, feeling the almost desperate grip Chris had on him. "He really is."
"I can't believe it. How can.... Why..."
Ending the questions with a gentle kiss, Buck placed his hand on Chris' chest, feeling the strong heartbeat under his palm. "It's ok, we got time to deal with this. Just trust your feelings, Chris, trust me..." Gazing down into hazel depths, he smiled. "It's kinda surreal, isn't it?"
"That doesn't even begin to cover it." Chris let himself rest tiredly against Buck's larger frame, needing the physical contact. "Not even by a long shot."
"I know. It's not like you get to prepare for something like this..."
Coming past the open door, Nathan cold easily hear voices from inside. Recognizing Buck's voice he stopped, freezing in place when he heard the words. "Oh no, you didn't," he wildly thought. "You did not tell him already..." Before he could stop himself he had pushed the door completely open and set his eyes on the tall brunet.
"Damn it, Buck, I told you not to do this!"
Chris cut him off before Nathan could say anything else, not giving Buck a chance to answer, eyes narrowing.
"You knew too? And you weren't going to tell me?"
"Well..."
"How could you not tell me something like this?!"
Nathan was glaring at Buck. "We were trying to save you from the possibility of being hurt. That's why. Buck was not supposed to say anything until we were sure."
Buck glared right back. "Couldn't tell him something he already knew, Nate."
That caused a frown on the other man's face. "What do you mean he already knew?" To his surprise it was Chris that answered.
"He looked like Sarah." The simple statement made both men fall silent.
"There was more to it than that," Buck reminded him. "Your eyes... He's got the same power that you have," a smile tinged Buck's serious face. "He's another goddamn firebug, just like you."
The sound of the old petname brought a smile to Chris' face as well. "So what do we do now?"
Nathan's mind clicked into scientist mode again. "I take a blood sample from you and the kid, and do a DNA match. All we need is to figure out a way to obtain a sample from Ezra without letting on what we really need it for." Immediately Chris lifted his head from Buck's shoulder to stare at him.
"You have to tell him, Nate. I mean, I have to tell him... He has the right to know."
Dark brown eyes studied him. "Are you sure about that, Chris? There is a possibility that we all could be wrong, that it's all just a bunch of coincidences... You could be scaring him away."
The statement made the other man stop and think, he could see that. But Nathan could honestly not provide any answer for his own question. The analytic, logical side of him argued for that unlikeliness of something like this happening, it was too much of a coincidence. But his heart, was nearly certain, and trying to convince the rest of him. His father had always told him to go with his instincts and in a daring decision he decided to heed his father voice on the inside of his head. Nathan took a deep breath.
"The choice is your, Chris. You do what you feel is right."
Chris nodded, still safely encased in Buck's arms. "I am going to tell him. But... But not right now." Leaning his head to Buck's sturdy shoulder, he repeated the words. "Not right now."
Buck on the other hand had a sneaky feeling that he was being conned. He ran his fingers through Chris' hair, waiting a bit in the silence that had fallen.
"Then when?"
"What?" Chris started a litle at the words and withdrew so he could see his lover's face. "What do you mean by that?" he asked with a wary voice.
Buck's eyes held his. "When are you going to tell him then?"
"Soon. I am going to tell him soon."
"I don't believe you."
Sensing what was coming, Nathan quietly left the room, closing the door behind him. On an impulse, not really aware of it himself, his feet took him up the stairs again. He stopped outside the room he'd left just earlier, the door being pushed just a little open. In the mellow moonlight he had no trouble seeing the two in the bed, a tightly curled up form of two persons.
"God, don't let this be a mistake," he silently prayed.
Downstairs his departure hadn't even been noticed in the tense atmosphere. Easing himself out of the embrace, Chris took a step back. "Don't you trust me, Buck?"
Feeling a painful stab of guilt at the hurt expression on the blond's face, Buck steeled himself. "I do, love, I really do. But you're not thinking clearly here...and I know you. If you don't tell him, and you know perfectly well that Vin is not going to let him leave, not in a long time...you can keep him here and you won't have to deal with your emotions. The same emotions you're running from right now."
Chris' face had paled. "That's not true. I wouldn't do that! It's just..." He stopped, at a loss for words, not sure himself what it was that he was going to say.
"It's just...?" Buck's mild voice reminded him as he didn't say more. And for the first time Chris cursed the fact that his life partner knew him that well, he should have known there was no way of fooling Buck, when it came to what he was feeling he never could. That left him with only one option.
There was a door in the back of the study, leading out to the wide porch encasing the back of the house. In an instant he was through the door, wondering briefly if Buck was following him.
Standing outside in the starry night, Chris didn't even feel the ironhard grip he had on the railing. The light from inside made a weak attempt to reach outside but was quickly swallowed up by the nighttime darkness. A vortex of emotions culminated in one, unexpected feeling. Fear.
He felt the presence of Buck next to him, the other man staying away to let him decide, to give him space if he needed it. Chris wasn't sure himself.
"You know," he haltingly started, trying to explain what he was feeling, both to himself and to Buck. "I dreamed about this...that he wasn't dead, that I'd find him some day... And now," a humourless smile quirked his lips, "it seems that maybe I have... And all I feel is...scared. I want to run away." The strange feelings made him feel oddly shameful.
His name was sighed, then he was picked up and hugged tightly. "You're just trying to protect yourself from being hurt again, babe, it's perfectly normal. I feel the same way, but I have to trust my gut instinct on this one and see this one through."
"What if..." Chris had to start again, face buried in Buck's neck.. "What if you're wrong, Buck? What if he isn't Adam? What then?"
"Then we'll deal with that too," Buck comforted him. "Then at least Vin found someone he'd thought he'd lost forever again. They have a very special bond between them, the two of them. Although I'm not sure if Vin doesn't see a three year old, lost little boy when he looks at Ezra, he seems mighty protective of the kid." He shrugged lightly. "Vin is going to see it too, Chris. Not right away, he's too busy with Ez and him right now, but he will discover what we have. And Ezra, well, it was more than obvious that he felt something as well, even if he didn't recognize it. He probably doesn't have any memories of what happened back then."
To Chris that sounded like a good thing.
"What am I going to do?" he asked quietly, leaning heavily into Buck's compact body, nearly hiding. "Just what the hell am I going to do, Buck?"
Hugging him tight, Buck contemplated the stars for a second. "You'll know, babe. When the right time comes, you'll know. He's your son, Chris."
"Yeah," Chris' voice sounded wondrous. "He's my... Son."
The morning came with bright sunlight after starlight, flooding the second story bedroom with insistent light. Making a sound of discomfort, Ezra turned away from the source of annoying light and burrowed closer to the warm body next to his. And nearly jumped straight out of the bed.
Eyes wide he sat up, taking in the strange surroundings. A little by little, yesterday's events fell in to place and he relaxed a bit. A slight flush crept over his face as he realised that he had spent the night snuggled up to Vin, the older boy's arms around him. Underneath a ton of blankets. Drawing his knees up to his chest, silently studying the still sleeping Vin, Ezra tried to make sense of his own feelings.
What on earth had possessed him to go here with Vin? It was so unlike him, he should have just continued. Staying in one place made it easier for people to find him. It also meant the danger of creating bonds, bonds it would be painful to break when the time came. And the time would come. He couldn't afford to stay long in one place, he was to be moving on this day, Ezra decided, resting his chin on the top of his knees. At least he knew where Vin was now, the two of them could stay in contact even if they couldn't stay close. The feelings the decision gave was quickly quenched.
"Hey," a sleepy voice startled him out of his thoughts. Blue eyes were studying him back now.
"Hey," Ezra replied, feeling strangely shy. "I didn't mean to wake you."
He got a smile in return. "You didn't. Wake me, I mean. I always wake up early. Earlier than this in fact, unless I sleep with someone." At the sight of the Ezra's blush returning with a vengeance, he chuckled. "Not like that, Red. With someone else in the bed...I can't help myself. Guess it's the wolf in me. I hope I didn't scare you?"
The sky blue look and the hopeful, apologetic expression was too much to resist.
Smiling, Ezra shook his head. "No, you didn't. I slept very well myself actually."
"Good!" Vin was up and about before Ezra had the time to blink. "Because I have a ton of things to show you, and I don't want there to be any weird feelings between us. God, I can't believe that it's been fifteen years since I saw you last, feels like it was just the other day, and... I am babbling." Vin had slowed down. "Sorry."
This time it was Ezra's turn to chuckle. "Don't be. I am glad to see that you haven't lost your energy, Puppy." He adopted a thoughtful look. "Now if I can just find my way out of these blankets, I might even join you.
Recognizing the teasing, Vin's eyes narrowed playfully. "I do believe you're insulting my bed, Mr. Standish."
"You mean there is a bed underneath here, Mr. Tanner?" Ezra shot back. He got a positively wolfish grin in return and then Vin pounced.
"Oh no!" Ezra was retreating as fast as he could. "You are not going to... Vin!" The words turned into laughter and giggles as the older boy started tickling him, pinning him down with his larger body.
"You were saying?" Vin innocently asked, prodding the Southerner's rib with his fingers. Ezra was laughing too hard to speak, barely able to breathe under the onslaught. He tried squirming away, only to have Vin following. Not much later they both ran out of bed and tumbled to the floor in a pile of arm and legs. After a second of stunned silence, both boys dissolved into laughter, still entangled in each other and both making no attempts to move away.
"We fell out of bed." Vin's voice was awed enough to make Ezra start laughing again. Leaning his head back onto Vin's chest, he sighed.
"My stomach hurts."
"Mine too," Vin agreed, " I haven't laughed that hard in ages." He peeled yet another blanket away that had been tangled around one leg. His back was comfortably leaning against the side of the bed as he pushed the curtain of sleep tousled curls away from his face. He caught Ezra looking up at him with a curious look.
"What do you look like now? I mean, when I last saw you, you were a little cub. You must be almost grown by now?"
Vin nodded seriously. "Yep. I grow slower than a usual wolf, it follows the human growth. I'm not very pretty at the moment, all gangly legs and big ears." Ezra reached up to pull on a wayward curl.
"I don't believe you. Maybe you could show me later? I'd love to see you."
"That's a deal." Vin ruffled Ezra's hair in return, ignoring the protests. "I'll show you after breakfast...and maybe you could show me some tricks of yours as well?" His fingers stayed in the other boy's hair, softly petting.
Figuring that it was just another of Vin's 'wolfisms' Ezra just stayed still and enjoyed the gentle touches. "If you want to. It's really not that much to see, it's not a very practical thing to be able to do."
"Oh I'd say it's very practical. Who knows what would have happened yesterday if you hadn't been there? It was because of you that we got away."
Long eyelashes drifted down and shielded the large, green eyes. "Nah... You would have thought of something...you always do."
"Yeah, sure. As you probably remember I wasn't all that successful back then..."
"But you tried."
The small statement went straight to Vin's heart. But before he could say anything, a voice from the door efficiently ruined the moment.
"I still see you, Vin, what are you hiding behind your bed for?"
A deep sigh was followed by Vin's "Ez, meet JD. Just ignore him and he'll go away eventually."
Carefully peeking over the bed Ezra found a short, darkhaired young man in the doorway. He could be a few years older than Vin and wore a mischievous, impish look.
"Didn't know you had company, junior. Who's your friend?"
"He's my Red. You know, the one from the woods, back when I was a kid," Vin patiently explained.
"You're still a kid, junior," JD informed him, then his eyes shifted to Ezra who was distracted by Vin calling him 'his'. "But that's good, Vin, really good. Well, I'll leave you to it. Buck asked me to tell you that breakfast'll be ready in fifteen." With that he was gone.
"That was JD," Vin explained before Ezra could ask. "Remember, I mentioned him last night? He spent the night at Casey's, she's his girlfriend. JD's Buck's younger cousin. His parents died when he was thirteen, so Buck have been taking care of him. And he's an idiot."
"Buck?"
"No! JD."
"Oh."
"Well, not really an idiot... Mostly just annoying."
"Oh."
"You'll get to meet 'Siah later as well. The guy I called in the car? He's coming out here later." When Ezra didn't reply, Vin softly smiled. "Don't worry, you'll like him. He might look like he's able to break you into little pieces and put you in his pocket, but he's just a big teddybear really. And he's going to just adore you."
"How do you know that?" Ezra wasn't convinced.
"Because I do."
"You do?" came the bewildered reply.
"Absolutely. Now let's go get ready for breakfast before Buck sends JD up to get us."
Obediently Ezra got to his feet and followed Vin, still a bit shellshocked.
Breakfast was a loud affair. In between checking the food on the stove and telling JD to sit still and stop teasing Vin Buck carefully watched Chris and Ezra. The first still seemed a little shaken, but hid it well. Buck caught several glances towards the young Southerner as well as the thoughtful, far away look. It didn't look like Ezra noticed the glances, he was too busy looking ike he was two seconds away from running and hiding behind Vin. He couldn't blame him. They all sounded like a herd of stampeding cattle on a good day, which could be quite overwhelming for a poor new soul. He'd get used to it in the end, though.
"Where are the boys?" Buck asked Nathan coming into the livingroom later that morning. Looking around he found Chris as well. "I know JD was going to get his bike out and go for a drive."
"I think Vin and Ezra are outside in the backyard," Nathan replied. "Vin was saying something about showing Ezra what he looks like as the wolf now..." He paused and smiled. "Anybody else notice that our Vin seems to be a lot more talkative when Ezra's around? They disappeared out the backdoor, chattering away."
"That's good," Buck smiled back. "The two of them get along like a house on fire."
Then a yell tore through the house. "Nathan!"
Immediately Nathan got up and went in search of the first aid kit. Chris had gotten to his feet as well, looking worried. Buck looked at the white bag in Nathan's hand then to Nathan himself.
"How...?"
"Vin rarely raises his voice. And that was not the 'JD won't stop annoying me so I am just going to have to kill him and I need you to help me hide the body'-Nathan. Somebody's hurt."
Chris was already outside. "Are you two coming or what?"
Buck and Nathan exchanged a look, then they followed.
"We're coming."
Vin all but met them in the door. Ezra was not far behind, cradling his arm to his chest.
"It's not a big deal, Vin, it's just a scratch..."
"The hell it is! You're going to let Nate examine it and that's final! You're bleeding buckets, for God's sake!"
Hiding his smile, Nathan guided Ezra to a low bench at the house wall. "Wanna tell me what happened?" He didn't miss the pale face and pained look as he gently straightened Ezra's arm to look at the wound. Vin was next to Ezra on the bench, worriedly holding on to the younger boy's free hand.
"I didn't watch where I was going, and I slipped. Must have hit some rocks or something..."
Nathan was busy cleaning away the blood to get a better look at what was underneath. "Yeah, looks that way. Something sliced into you pretty good. I don't think you need stitches though, but I am going to need to wrap this up properly. You best come inside." He helped Ezra up and shooed both him and Vin inside. Chris was standing by the door, waiting to go inside as he discovered that Buck and Nathan weren't following.
Buck was standing next to Nathan, looking at something. Picking up a compress soaked in blood, he turned to look at Nathan. Blue eyes met darkbrown. Then the healer nodded.