He waited a long time to make sure Viggo was really asleep. Usually he found it soothing and safe to lay awake next to the other man, listening to him breathing and feeling strong arms around him. Tonight he'd never found that calm. Sean carefully made his way free from Viggo's hold. A shadow of a frown flickered over Viggo's face as he somewhere in deep sleep sensed that Sean wasn't close anymore. Waiting another moment by the bed, Sean studied Viggo closely to make sure he slept on. Once he was absolutely sure, he walked quietly to the hallway.
The coat hung as he had arranged it. The dirt on the sleeve still had that earthy smell and suddenly Sean was back in the forest. Heart hammering painfully, he shook his head slightly to clear away the sharp scent of grass and the cold feeling of dread.
"Don't," he reminded himself. "Don't think about it." Yet he remained in the dark hallway for nearly a minute, holding onto the jacket.
The wash room was lit only by a single light fixture in the roof. Methodically collecting the rest of the laundry, Sean sorted it in different piles. The shirt Viggo had worn on their night in the forest was suddenly between his hands and he stroked it carefully. On a whim he placed it aside before loading the rest into the washer. The shirt smelled like Viggo.
The glass doors had been replaced by now. No one had said anything about it, which Sean was eternally grateful for. What had happened was something private between Viggo and him. The cold glass gave him a small start as he placed his fingers against it. The surface was whole and even, invisible until he touched it.
"He told you he loves you," he murmured to himself, the simple words like a mantra. "He loves you." The door slid easily open, granting him acess to the back porch. He left it just a little open to make sure he'd hear any sounds from within the house.
The nightly air was chilled. The floor boards cold against his bare feet. Everything was deathly quiet, something Sean still had trouble getting used to. He didn't like the quiet. He hugged himself as he regarded the black mass of the trees. The first tear that curved over his cheek surprised him, only to find that he couldn't stop. Biting his teeth together Sean never made a sound as currents of hot tears made their silent way down his face. Hands clenched into fist, he drove his nails into the soft flesh as hard as he could. Only when he could feel his nails slipping a bit in the sticky blood he'd drawn did he relax a bit. He stayed on the porch until the last of the tears had dried up, waiting stubbornly until no one would ever be able to tell what had happened.
Viggo was still sleeping when Sean made his way back to the bedroom. He was on his back, dark hair a tarnished halo around his peaceful face. Thoughtfully Sean slid his fingers down Viggo's cheek, warm skin giving way for the rougher texture of the short beard. One finger tip lined the rounded feature of a bottom lip. Moving his hand to the side of Viggo's face, the other man made a sleepy sound, nuzzling slightly into Sean's hand. It made Sean smile.
The sudden need to be as close to Viggo as possible made his skin burn with anticipation. Sliding hurriedly in under the blankets, he scooted closer to Viggo, snuggling up to him as the larger man's arms easily came around him. Burrowing in further, Sean pressed a kiss to Viggo's neck, just above the neckline of his T-shirt.
"You're cold," Viggo mumbled into Sean's hair.
"Couldn't sleep, so I decided to get some of the laundry done," Sean braved, forcing his body to relax as he waited for the answer.
"Mmhm." Viggo didn't seem to care. His hands drifted up and down Sean's bare back. When Sean lifted his head so he could see Viggo's face he was met by blue eyes. Thankful for the mellow darkness Sean allowed himself a tiny smile.
"Love you," he whispered, not able to stop touching the older man. Dipping down he stole a sweet kiss.
Before he could retract, a large hand snaked around his neck to keep him still as Viggo deepened the kiss. Sean let him. He slid his hands underneath Viggo's shirt, surprising them both with his forwardness. A not unpleasant shiver raced down his spine as Viggo seemed content to let him take the lead for now. It didn't mean that he was impassive though. The feel of Viggo's skin took on magical qualities, erasing any other touches. Aching to feel some semblance of clean again, Sean initiated another kiss, hungry, deep and needing. As Viggo pushed slowly at the waistband of his pj pants, he whimpered, the sound half arousement, half relief.
"Easy, pet..." Viggo's voice soothed him, in contrast to the lips scorching a path over Sean's shoulder. The Dane lifted his head and watched Sean for an endless second. Unable to form words Sean pulled them together, trusting his body to convey his feelings. He wanted to drown in Viggo. Burn the world away in a flash fire of want. But despite Sean's urgency Viggo seemed to know exactly what he needed and made love to him slowly, lovingly and sweetly. As he finally pushed his way deep into Sean's body, the younger man wanted to freeze-frame the exact, perfect moment, locking them together for all eternity.
He never wanted it to end, never wanted to stop feeling Viggo's body moving against his, touching him in the most intimate places. Giving himself up completely, Sean was overwhelmed by a desire to not only never be parted from the darker man, but to remain a part of him forever. Whimpering wordlessly he made an attempt to curl around Viggo, scared that if he stopped touching, just a little, everything would break around him. Break so severly that how much he'd try, he could never piece it back together again. Then Viggo's voice rasped over his skin, deep and commanding.
"Let go, pet, it's alright... Just let go."
And as always, he obeyed.
Cradling his lover in his arms, Viggo thoughtfully ran his hand down Sean's still trembling back. The younger man hadn't said a word since he'd come back to himself in Viggo's embrace. Idly wondering if he should get up and get a smoke, Viggo stared at the shadow-misted ceiling. Tomorrow they would both be returning to the set. Sean's arm had healed enough to that the bandages could come off during the filming of their scenes. A few days more and he'd be allowed to start training again. Something Viggo looked forward to immensly. They had both gone through several hours of sword fencing training, but they had never gotten to spar against each other. He knew Sean was already a skilled fighter. A smile curled around the side of his mouth as he wondered what Sean wouild do when he told him. It wouldn't be fun unless the younger man made an effort. Surely Viggo would come out victorious, but it wouldn't be the same if Sean let him win.
He wondered again about the cigarette, as he kept moving his hand over Sean's back. It strayed to his neck, folding around it in a familiar, posessive hold. Sean shifted a little against him, reflexively snuggling in tighter.
After a while Sean had to give up the fight against sleep and Viggo felt his body relax, warm breath slightly fanning his neck. He made an effort to close his eyes and follow, but sleep wasn't prepared to come for him just yet. Blinking blue eyes open again, he resorted to thinking things through. As much as he had enjoyed what had happened, he just couldn't suppress that little voice that told him that something must have set this off. Sean was usually quite satisfied with letting Viggo take the lead in bed. Unless Viggo wanted him to do different, of course. Sometimes he enjoyed seeing his angel getting his wings dirty.
That thought kept him awake all through the early morning. The sun had stretched long fingers from the mountains and was poking at their windows before Viggo dozed off lightly. Only to be woken again by Sean waking up next to him. He rolled over and pulled Sean in close.
"Good morning," he murmured into a kiss. Feeling Sean open up to him, hands winding into Viggo's longer hair, he was pleased to find that younger man seemed like normal. Seemed like nothing had happened. Viggo didn't know why he wasn't all comfortable with that.
Sean aimed green eyes that always seemed darker in the mornings at him. "I love you."
"I love you too." The words came easily. And suddenly Viggo discovered that he was speaking the truth.
For a few seconds the insight and the true nature of what he actually was feeling knocked him for a loop. He hadn't really been in love before. Not like this, at least. He smiled, feeling strangely giddy. It was quite romantic this, laying in bed together after a night of lovemaking and then suddenly realise that you were in love.
"I love you," he repeated, just to see that special light in Sean's eyes as the younger man moved to place a kiss on Viggo's lips. "I love you, pet."