St Luke's Church Eccleshill - Articles from "The Link"

In our "Questions to the clergy" slot, John will try to answer any query you throw at him, without hesitation, deviation or repetition...

Wedding Blessings

Q. What is a “wedding blessing”? Is it worth having? And if you think the wedding is wrong then what are you doing blessing it?

A. First, what is it? We don’t call at a “wedding blessing” - it is a “Service of prayer and dedication following civil marriage”.

Usually a couple go to the register office the day before, or in the morning and then come to church in the afternoon. The service seems quite like a wedding, but with some important differences.

These bits are the same...
• the church atmosphere,
• a hymn at the beginning,
• questions with “I will”,
• bible reading and sermon,
• bits you repeat (“vows”),
• everyone supporting you,
• a prayer over the couple,
• another hymn,
• prayers and a blessing,
• a final procession.

...and these bits are different:
• the husband and wife enter church together already married,
• the wife is not “given away”,
• the questions and the “vows” are all “will you continue to...” or reaffirmations, in which the couple spell out what they were wanting to say in the wedding,
• new rings can be given, but rings which have already been given are not given again,
• there are no questions about if anyone knows any reason why they may not get married, and no signing of registers.

Second, is it worth having? Yes, I think it is. Many people complain to me that the register office is too quick, in and out, like a conveyor belt - a church service has a much better feeling. Also, in a civil ceremony you don’t get the chance to promise “till death us do part”, which many couples want to say. And third, a civil ceremony bans all mention of the spiritual, but most people want to have something about God in their wedding.

Third, why do we “bless” weddings we wouldn’t perform in church? We don’t - God’s approval is not pronounced over the couple. The whole subject of remarriage after divorce is very touchy, and I’ve written about it before in The Link (see our web site). We may not approve of how the couple got to this point, but in some cases we think it is right to give them a chance in a public service of saying where they are up to, undertaking a lifelong commitment, and asking God for his help.

John Hartley

	*St Luke's Church, Eccleshill - The Link* magazine** The Link is published monthly at 40p (Senior Citizens 35p), and we deliver free within the parish and post copies (at the reader's expense) to those who request it. Please contact us if you would like a free copy for a trial period. August 2002, Page 8.
Home Page. Index of articles. Questions: index, Lord's Prayer, Apocrypha, Creationism, Change, Wedding Blessings, Funerals. Marriage: index, Remarriage, Why marry, Preparation, Blessings, Babies before. Weddings at St Luke's. In this issue: (August 2002) Vicar's Letter, Rot in the roof, Ravenscliffe, Question, Church Schools.	In our "Questions to the clergy" slot, John will try to answer any query you throw at him, without hesitation, deviation or repetition... Wedding Blessings Q. What is a “wedding blessing”? Is it worth having? And if you think the wedding is wrong then what are you doing blessing it? A. First, what is it? We don’t call at a “wedding blessing” - it is a “Service of prayer and dedication following civil marriage”. Usually a couple go to the register office the day before, or in the morning and then come to church in the afternoon. The service seems quite like a wedding, but with some important differences. These bits are the same... • the church atmosphere, • a hymn at the beginning, • questions with “I will”, • bible reading and sermon, • bits you repeat (“vows”), • everyone supporting you, • a prayer over the couple, • another hymn, • prayers and a blessing, • a final procession. ...and these bits are different: • the husband and wife enter church together already married, • the wife is not “given away”, • the questions and the “vows” are all “will you continue to...” or reaffirmations, in which the couple spell out what they were wanting to say in the wedding, • new rings can be given, but rings which have already been given are not given again, • there are no questions about if anyone knows any reason why they may not get married, and no signing of registers. Second, is it worth having? Yes, I think it is. Many people complain to me that the register office is too quick, in and out, like a conveyor belt - a church service has a much better feeling. Also, in a civil ceremony you don’t get the chance to promise “till death us do part”, which many couples want to say. And third, a civil ceremony bans all mention of the spiritual, but most people want to have something about God in their wedding. Third, why do we “bless” weddings we wouldn’t perform in church? We don’t - God’s approval is not pronounced over the couple. The whole subject of remarriage after divorce is very touchy, and I’ve written about it before in The Link (see our web site). We may not approve of how the couple got to this point, but in some cases we think it is right to give them a chance in a public service of saying where they are up to, undertaking a lifelong commitment, and asking God for his help. John Hartley
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