St Luke's Church Eccleshill - Articles from "The Link"

An encounter with depression

Most of you will know that I was off work with depression for three weeks from 14th November. It was a bit of an eye-opener!

I always thought “depression” was when you feel emotionally dreadful about life, even though you’re well enough physically. But I found it’s much more a physical condition than an emotional one: it’s about the brain going out of balance chemically, and so upsetting the rest of the body.

I went to see the doctor at my wife’s insistence: I wasn’t sleeping properly, I had lost my appetite, I was shaky, my stomach was knotted up most of the time, I had tense feelings in my arms and legs, and my work was suffering. The doctor pointed out I was wringing my hands in the surgery. “You’ve got all the classic signs of a depressive disease,” he said.

Depression comes in two sorts: endogenous (it comes by itself from inside you) and reactive (it is your reaction to problems). After a discussion of my family and work situation the doctor diagnosed reactive depression and gave me anti-depressants. “They’ll take a few weeks to work,” he said, “but we’ll get you through this.”

The next morning, after the first capsule, the world seemed to go round, the light bulbs looked too bright, my stomach cramps were worse than ever, I attacked my cornflakes ravenously but had to give up after five mouthfuls, and I couldn’t sit still with the agitation in my hands, arms and legs. I was up for only a few minutes before I needed to lie down for an hour. So obviously I couldn’t work. I went back to the doctor, and he gave me a sick-note.

Over three weeks the side-effects wore off, my appetite returned, and the cramps and tenseness mostly went away.

So now I’m back at work. I’m not completely better: I’m still not very good in the mornings, and I can still get shaky. The doctor says this is typical of depression. It takes a few weeks for the chemicals to do their work. I’m also planning some ‘cognitive therapy’ (“tablets are like a lifebelt, but therapy is like learning to swim - and you need both”, a friend said).

Please bear with me if I’m not at my best this month. Part of the depression is Neil’s autism, parts of it are about work-related things which I can’t go into now. Jesus will look after me, but your patience will be a great help too.

John Hartley

	*St Luke's Church, Eccleshill - The Link* magazine** The Link is published monthly at 40p (Senior Citizens 35p), and we deliver free within the parish and post copies (at the reader's expense) to those who request it. Please contact us if you would like a free copy for a trial period. January 2003, Page 2.
Home Page. Index of articles. In this issue: (January 2003) Vicar's Letter, Depression, Islam, Question.	An encounter with depression Most of you will know that I was off work with depression for three weeks from 14th November. It was a bit of an eye-opener! I always thought “depression” was when you feel emotionally dreadful about life, even though you’re well enough physically. But I found it’s much more a physical condition than an emotional one: it’s about the brain going out of balance chemically, and so upsetting the rest of the body. I went to see the doctor at my wife’s insistence: I wasn’t sleeping properly, I had lost my appetite, I was shaky, my stomach was knotted up most of the time, I had tense feelings in my arms and legs, and my work was suffering. The doctor pointed out I was wringing my hands in the surgery. “You’ve got all the classic signs of a depressive disease,” he said. Depression comes in two sorts: endogenous (it comes by itself from inside you) and reactive (it is your reaction to problems). After a discussion of my family and work situation the doctor diagnosed reactive depression and gave me anti-depressants. “They’ll take a few weeks to work,” he said, “but we’ll get you through this.” The next morning, after the first capsule, the world seemed to go round, the light bulbs looked too bright, my stomach cramps were worse than ever, I attacked my cornflakes ravenously but had to give up after five mouthfuls, and I couldn’t sit still with the agitation in my hands, arms and legs. I was up for only a few minutes before I needed to lie down for an hour. So obviously I couldn’t work. I went back to the doctor, and he gave me a sick-note. Over three weeks the side-effects wore off, my appetite returned, and the cramps and tenseness mostly went away. So now I’m back at work. I’m not completely better: I’m still not very good in the mornings, and I can still get shaky. The doctor says this is typical of depression. It takes a few weeks for the chemicals to do their work. I’m also planning some ‘cognitive therapy’ (“tablets are like a lifebelt, but therapy is like learning to swim - and you need both”, a friend said). Please bear with me if I’m not at my best this month. Part of the depression is Neil’s autism, parts of it are about work-related things which I can’t go into now. Jesus will look after me, but your patience will be a great help too. John Hartley
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