St Luke's Church Eccleshill - Articles from "The Link"

Christmas at a vicarage

The BBC rang me up and asked me for something for their web site. "How do you do a family Christmas and run a church too?" they asked. "I don't know," I replied. "I'll ring you back when I've discovered!"

Christmas is a time of giving. God thinks we're special, so he gave us a gift - Jesus. So at Christmas we give each other gifts, and we try to make others feel special. Making others feel special is hard - so Christmas exhausts us.

I always suspected that Christmas would be a high-pressure time for a vicar. But I didn't guess right about the details. I thought it would be the few extra big events which would make the big stresses. Events like the Midnight Service, Nine Lessons & Carols, and Carol-Singing at Morrisons. I thought that if a vicar could get his head round these big events, Christmas would be sorted.

Instead, I have found it's the immense number of little things which make the pressure. Did I remember to set the heating to come on for the school carol service? Have I remembered to organise home-communions? I need nine people to read the nine lessons - who can I ask? In a normal month I'd cope with these, but it comes when I also have the family celebrations to think about.

I think all vicars have to cope with some tensions between the Church and the family. The vicar would like an evening to get all the presents finally wrapped and the stockings organised, but there's a midnight service to attend to that night. One year the Christmas stockings didn't get done until the next night, and the children had to open them on Boxing Day instead. We made some excuse about Santa being busy too!

As well as this pressure, which all vicarage families have, I have another difficulty. Neil and Peter, my two sons, both have severe learning difficulties: neither of them has any idea of the special day, nor do they understand the meaning of Christmas. Peter (15, with Down's Syndrome) is fine at unwrapping presents: given half a chance he'll unwrap everyone else's too and ruin all the surprises. Neil (5, with autism) hates the disruption to his routine, and will scream throughout dinner time.

At such times I have to remember: God gave his gift without stressing out. I need to pray: "Make me more like you, Lord!"

John Hartley

	*St Luke's Church, Eccleshill - The Link* magazine** The Link is published monthly at 40p (Senior Citizens 35p), and we deliver free within the parish and post copies (at the reader's expense) to those who request it. Please contact us if you would like a free copy for a trial period. December 2003, Page 1.
Home Page. Index of articles. Vicar's Letters: index, Who to vote for? Who's Jesus? Bruce Almighty, What's a wedding? Vicarage Christmas. In this issue: (December 2003) Vicarage Christmas, Advent Crafts, Arrests in Egypt, Question.	Christmas at a vicarage The BBC rang me up and asked me for something for their web site. "How do you do a family Christmas and run a church too?" they asked. "I don't know," I replied. "I'll ring you back when I've discovered!" Christmas is a time of giving. God thinks we're special, so he gave us a gift - Jesus. So at Christmas we give each other gifts, and we try to make others feel special. Making others feel special is hard - so Christmas exhausts us. I always suspected that Christmas would be a high-pressure time for a vicar. But I didn't guess right about the details. I thought it would be the few extra big events which would make the big stresses. Events like the Midnight Service, Nine Lessons & Carols, and Carol-Singing at Morrisons. I thought that if a vicar could get his head round these big events, Christmas would be sorted. Instead, I have found it's the immense number of little things which make the pressure. Did I remember to set the heating to come on for the school carol service? Have I remembered to organise home-communions? I need nine people to read the nine lessons - who can I ask? In a normal month I'd cope with these, but it comes when I also have the family celebrations to think about. I think all vicars have to cope with some tensions between the Church and the family. The vicar would like an evening to get all the presents finally wrapped and the stockings organised, but there's a midnight service to attend to that night. One year the Christmas stockings didn't get done until the next night, and the children had to open them on Boxing Day instead. We made some excuse about Santa being busy too! As well as this pressure, which all vicarage families have, I have another difficulty. Neil and Peter, my two sons, both have severe learning difficulties: neither of them has any idea of the special day, nor do they understand the meaning of Christmas. Peter (15, with Down's Syndrome) is fine at unwrapping presents: given half a chance he'll unwrap everyone else's too and ruin all the surprises. Neil (5, with autism) hates the disruption to his routine, and will scream throughout dinner time. At such times I have to remember: God gave his gift without stressing out. I need to pray: "Make me more like you, Lord!" John Hartley
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